Establishing boundaries rather than building walls

Hello world!

A few fun facts before I begin (if possible, please imagine “fun facts” being said in the voice of Janet from The Good Place. It’s not essential to understanding/enjoying this post…I just really…REALLY love The Good Place at the mo).

Fun fact #1– I’m technically Dr. Molly, the psychologist, but my specialty is NOT clinical psychology/therapeutic techniques/psychoanalysis. My thoughts are thought-out but not based on up-to-date research in these areas. They’re based on (this list is not exhaustive):

  1. my childhood
  2. my understanding of science, the humanities and the arts
  3. years of therapy (different types and people)
  4. my own experiences
  5. chats with friends
  6. podcasts
  7. probably musicals, too

Fun fact #2- When I write these self-help-esque posts, I’m primarily writing them for myself (I have this theory that at least a subset of self-help authors are doing the same…and making their living out of it! Eh [shrugs shoulders], who am I to judge in this “post-truth” apocalypse. I put “post-truth” in quotations, because I hate that term. It implies  that before now, the media and public figures were always telling the truth…). If the post happens to help you and/or encourages you to think about a concept from a different perspective, that’s ideal, but…I’m not gonna pretend I know what the fuck I’m talking about. Also, in my opinion, everyone’s needs are different (haha I just made a general statement about heteronormaty!). Thus, if you need help, please reach out to a non-bias helpline (if time-sensitive) or a licensed professional. From my experience, building up a strong knowledge-base from a diverse set of sources and strengthening your support network is key.

Now onto the topic at hand: Walls vs. Boundaries

Image result for berlin wall

(i’m having trouble finding the source for this image…it’s at The Berlin Wall in 1962 and I found it here)

Physical walls are a bit of a hot button topic at the moment. For this post, I’d like to take about walls and boundaries in a figurative sense. So for a wall, think the end bit of Im not afraid of anything. The thing I love about that song is that by the end, it’s clear that she’s afraid of quite a lot. Specifically, that her partner, David, doesn’t love her, because he’s afraid of her.

I get that that.

The difference between me and her is that instead of boxing loved ones out of my life (which is a necessary and understandable thing to do in certain circumstances), I’ve chosen to strengthen my boundaries.

Some people I know flare up when they hear the word “boundary.” That’s my fault for mentioning it to them, I suppose, but…I don’t really think boundaries are anything to fear.

Instead, my personal boundaries are something I’ve chosen to embrace. They’re how I maintain my autonomy in this world.

I know in my heart of hearts that living in this world as a Jewish, emotional, millennial woman is not fucking easy.

Tell me I’m whining if you want, but I don’t really give a fuck what your opinion is (unless you verbalize it well), because…

you guessed it!

I’ve created a boundary between myself and you.



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